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Our family welcomes you and thanks you for stopping by to visit. We are delighted you have taken a few minutes out of your day to spend with us. We are Joe and Jessica. We have two children and one very regal beagle! We post often and it usually includes details of our Christian faith; life here in the South; entertaining our family and friends; tales of our travels; as well as the daily adventures of having two children. Oh, and our passion for Alabama Crimson Tide Football!
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What time I am afraid I will trust in thee
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Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Southern Belles



BEING A SOUTHERN BELLE IS A LIFETIME OF WORK...SO PRACTICE EVERYDAY!!!!!

I thought this was so cute and a change of pace! We were getting so serious here at the blog plantation

How to be a Southern Belle:

*Offer Mint Julep or Iced Tea to everyone who visits your house.
*Eat grits everyday for breakfast.
*Refer to your house as "The Plantation" no matter how small your house may be.
*Refer to all men as "gentlemen callers" or "beaux".
*Never let a man know you're interested or chase him because you know there are too many men who want you for you to expend the extra effort.
*When you have a dating dilemma and have one gentleman caller over when you are expecting another, claim to be "expired" and excuse yourself for a nap until he leaves.
*Whenever you are asked to do any work, fan yourself and claim to have the "vapors."
*Refer to every party you go to, even a kegger at the local university, as a "cotillion." All other parties are Yankee garbage.
*Try to use words like "darlin'", "sweet" or "precious" in every sentence.
*Refer to attending a motion picture as going to "the picture show" not the movies
*Belong to a country club. If you don't, refer to any club you belong to as a "country club". No one will know the difference.
*Sit under a magnolia tree with a parasol fanning yourself often. Passers-by will take notice of your belle-ness.
*Never marry a Yankee unless you want to be a Yankee by association.
*Never be seen without your makeup and girdle.

Southern Belles Never:
1. blow their nose in public.
2. Produce any bodily function in public
3. Wear white shoes or carry white handbags before Easter or after Labor Day. No matter what is fashionable
4. Chase after a man... they connive a man into chasing 'them'. Then act totally surprised when 'caught'.
5. Call men on the telephone.
6. Eat large amounts in public... they only nibble and say that they aren't hungry. (A southern belle will eat before a date, then again afterwards! It's not until the 'date' is of a fiancé status that a southern belle orders everything on the menu!)
7. Sleep with a man on a first date!
8. Sweat.
9. Get nervous or anxious... They're the picture of calm and control.
10. Cuss above a whisper where others might hear them. They use phrases like... 'oh my gosh', 'darn', and 'shoot'.
11. Have a gray hair until they're darn ready to have one!


~Southern Belles Must~
Must be a product of Southern raising (below the Mason Dixon, that is)! Pearls and pink are somewhere in your wardrobe. You must appreciate big trucks and the Southern men that drive them! You should value football and the ritual of tailgating. Sweet tea and grits should be two things that you hold near and dear to your heart. Also, you have to have that Southern Belle twang that the men love so much! Being Southern isn't just where you're born - it's an idea and a way of life. Being lady-like, charming, and refined is a MUST! Basically, you should epitomize the persona of Southern graciousness!
A Southern girl is a girl who knows very well that she can open a door for herself; however, she prefers for the gentleman to do it for her because it demonstrates a sense of respect. After all, every girl wants to be treated like a princess. We know how to make sweet tea and grits while telling you anything and everything about any football team. We pick our battles carefully. We fight with the heart of a pit bull, but we can still maintain grace and elegance. Our mystique is that of a soft-spoken, mild-mannered Southern belle who could direct an army, loves her Momma and will always be Daddy's little girl.


Southern Belles Always:

1. Get the man they want!
2. Know the way to a man's heart is through his stomach.
3. Are extraordinary hostesses.
4. Always look their best! Never a bad hair day or never without the perfect thing to wear.
5. walk in heels like they're floating on air.
6. Are always a bit mysterious.
7. Are witty and charming.
8. Throw the best parties.
9. Are the greatest cooks.
10. Have style!

Have a great evening ya'll !

I'll post more later.

1 comment:

jennifer said...

I am afraid that I'm not much of a Belle. The bad hair day and looking your best cinched that for me! But I was never allowed to call boys on the phone. I didn't either. I've told my girls the same thing!!

So many of these I was actually taught - some I think were just beyond our humble lifestyle :)

Great post - very fun read!