Friday Fun!

Friday Fun


Thank You Michelle for this:

Be careful to check your children’s drawings before they take them to school.

When asked to draw a picture of what they wanted to be when they grew up, second-grader "Sarah" turned in the lovely drawing shown below. Needless to say, the teacher was a bit surprised -- Mrs. Smith had always seemed like such a conservative woman. So she sent a note home to the girl's mother asking for clarification as to the picture's meaning.





(Here's the reply the teacher received the following day)

Dear Mrs. Jones,
I wish to clarify that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an exotic dancer.
I work at Home Depot and I told my daughter how hectic it was last week before the blizzard hit. I told her we sold out every single shovel we had, and then I found one more in the back room, and that several people were fighting over who would get it. Her picture doesn't show me dancing around a pole. It's supposed to depict me selling the last snow shovel we had at Home Depot.
From now on I will remember to check her homework more thoroughly before she turns it in.
Sincerely,
Mrs.Smith

Thank You to my mother for this one!

She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter as she'd done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, 'But Grandma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!'

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My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday.
He asked me how old I was, and I told him, '62.'
He was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, 'Did you start at 1?'
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After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, 'Who was THAT?'
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A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like:
'We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire;
it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony.
We picked wild raspberries in the woods.' The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in.
At last she said, 'I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!'
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My grandson was visiting one day when he asked,
' Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?'
I mentally polished my halo while I asked, 'No, how are we alike?'
'You're both old,' he replied.
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A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word processor.
She told him she was writing a story. 'What's it about?' he asked.
'I don't know,' she replied. 'I can't read.'
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I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet,
so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was.
She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued.
At last she headed for the door, saying sagely,
'Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these yourself!'
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When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin,
we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects.
Still, a few fireflies followed us in.
Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, 'It's no use, Grandpa.
The mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights.'
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When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, 'I'm not sure.'
'Look in your underwear, Grandpa,' he advised. 'mine says I'm four to six.'
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A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother,
'Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today.'
The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool.
'That's interesting,' she said, 'how do you make babies?'
'It's simple,' replied the girl. 'You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'.'
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Children's Logic: 'Give me a sentence about a public servant,' said a teacher.
The small boy wrote: 'The fireman came down the ladder pregnant.'
The teacher took the lad aside to correct him.
'Don't you know what pregnant means?' she asked.
'Sure,' said the young boy confidently. 'It means carrying a child.'
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A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon
full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past.
Sitting in the front seat of the truck was a Dalmatian dog.
The children started discussing the dog's duties.
'They use him to keep crowds back,' said one child.
'No,' said another, 'he's just for good luck.'
A third child brought the argument to a close.
'They use the dogs,' she said firmly, 'to find the fire hydrants...

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